Today’s Sketch Cinema feature is surely one for the record books, and is bound to make any warm-blooded man squirm in his seat uncontrollably. In fact, it just may be the one film that could very well bring a man to tears.

On this quiet, snowy, New England Sunday, I bring you Mitchell Lichtenshein’s 2007 sketch fest, Teeth.

Jess Weixler stars in this twisted take on the coming-of-age film as Dawn O’Keefe, a spirited blonde teenager with a terminally ill mother and a step-brother with an inexplicable fondness for, well, unconventional sex.

Inexplicable to most, but quite clear to us, the viewers. As it turns out, Brad’s aversion to the conventional methods of intercourse is simply due to an unfortunate childhood incident. An incident in which, during a pool-side game of doctor, Brad loses the tip of his finger when he decides to explore his step-sister’s anatomy. Too young to realize just how lucky he was to only lose a fingertip, he inconveniently blocks the memory out entirely. Let the games begin.

The movie offers a fresh spin on evolution and the concept of ‘survival of the fittest’, with Dawn even referring at one point to her newly discovered ‘adaptation’. After dealing with the initial shock of the abnormality she possesses, she quickly learns that her ailment can be quite advantageous.

A surprisingly well-made film with a strong storyline, I must refrain from sharing too much. Lichetentein masterfully paints a fresh, compelling tale of the true loss of innocence that cannot be missed, even if it may have men of all ages shaking in fear.

And now, I leave you with this week’s Sketch Cinema quote of the week:

(As doctors are performing reconstructive surgery on Ryan and about to attach his, well, you know):

Head Surgeon: “Seems like a waste of time if you ask me.”

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