Moving right along…

I’m on my last full day sans-internet at my brand new apartment, and Comcast can’t come soon enough.  No cable, no internet, hell – not even the ability to watch regular old television due to inactive jacks and that stupid DTV transition.

The good news from this is an over-abundance of material with which to pen my next Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema, as I’ve been forced to take in movie after movie to pass my quiet nights in the new place.  So, there’s that.  The Dead Pit, Pot Zombies, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead – you don’t want to miss any of these gems.  So stay tuned, as this week I promise to deliver SMSC on Sunday morning. What a concept!!

My new role as Boston Comedy Scene Examiner is keeping me sufficiently distracted, though somewhat at the expense of this site.  Impending vacation means finding that delicate balance.

So that’s it for now.  I’m counting down the hours until I’m let out of my work-cage and welcomed into my first-ever TWO WEEK vacation.  I might start to appear mildly retarded as I gravitate towards not using my brain at all.  But, I leave you with a jealousy-worthy picture of my new, massive living room, and my tiny-looking dog.

Oh, and happy holidays and all that jazz too. Smooches!

Oh, and since the title of this post might pop something into your head, I figure I’d help damn you today by just putting it in there myself.

The Muppet Movie Movin Right Along

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Moving right along…

Land Sharks, bubble gum, and packing tape.

Another weekend has rolled past in a haze of to-do listing.  My impending move dictated much of the weekend’s activities as I tried to neatly pack tiny bits of my life into poorly-assembled corrugated boxes.

I’m excited to be relocating, even if it’s only ten minutes away from my current residence.  The rose-colored glasses with which I viewed the Hills have long since been smashed in, probably by the same drunkards who felt the need to kick in the drywall in the building lobby. Onward and upward, my friends.

Saturday was something special, though I won’t go into details.  Following a bubble-gum flavored vodka spree Friday evening which ended far too early, it was just the day I needed to set heart and home upon a better, less frustrating path.

Things, they are a’happening.  Made amends today, made new friends yesterday, and can barely sit still with all that’s going to be coming my way this month.  We’re about 85% done with a preliminary plan for the Greater Boston Comedy Relay, and my pal and yours James Yantis is hard at work planning the same magic for Los Angeles.  But, as Yantis pointed out, Boston’s going to have to top “firetrucks, booze and hookers” if we want to beat LA.  How will we beat firetrucks??

And a little shameless self-promotion before I go.

You can now follow me – aka the Boston Comedy Scene Examiner – on Twitter (@BosComExaminer) and on Facebook! Huzzah!

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Land Sharks, bubble gum, and packing tape.

wounded.

and I don’t think it’s

all that fair

when you cry about

your life’s

injustices

on my shoulder

expecting my

tenderness

and my

empathy – while

knowing,

always knowing,

of this

land-mine

love

that is sure

to drag

my heart

deeply through

your warzone

because you

still love

her.

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wounded.

Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema: Paranormal Activity (2006)

This past weekend, my sketch-loving friends, I had searched high and low for a film sketchy enough to grace the SMSC column of Inside My Head.  Having spent the past several weeks under the spell of the B-movie genre, I decided to peek my head out of the window a bit and delve into something a bit more…current.

In my search for something a bit more frightening (since I’ve come to realize that I simply do not scare easily in my older years), I settled upon Oren Peli’s ‘found footage’, low-budget blockbuster Paranormal Activity.

Originally premiering at the Screamfest Film Festival in the U.S. on October 14, 2007, and soon shown thereafter at the Slamdance Film Festival on January 18, 2008, Paranormal Activity tells the tale of college student Katie and her live-in boyfriend, Micah, as they deal with a rather ill-spirited and increasingly dangerous demon which seems to haunt Katie wherever she goes.

I know. How cliché can a movie get?

PA surprisingly delivers all that other found-footage films seem to lack – substance. There are no tricky camera angles and heavily-implied terrifying moments (a la Blair Witch Project, which left much of the plot to the viewer’s overactive imagination rather than providing visually-spine-chilling scenes).  Instead, thanks to the couple’s desire to catch the demon on film (thus filming almost every waking moment of their lives), viewers are left just as (if not more so) terrified than the incredibly realistic characters.

For example, witnessing Micah’s borrowed Ouija board suddenly start to move then burst into flames just after the couple has left for the evening.  Scary shit.

I will say that, had I been Micah, I would have been gone ages ago – his girlfriend is clearly of the queen bitch variety, and she berates him at every turn.  Why he stuck around for demongirl, I’ll never know.  Love makes people do stupid shit.

Major kudos to Peli for bringing scary back.  With a mere $15,000 budget and a very sly marketing tactic leading up to it’s national release, this first-time director has successfully restored my hopes for any scary-movie genre.  Be sure to check out all three versions of the film, as each has a slightly different take on the same ending – all of which are horrifying and will leave you shocked and afraid to go to bed at night.

And now, my frightful friends, I leave you with this week’s Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema quote of the week.

Micah: [Trying to communicate with the entity while doing an EVP] “What is your quest? What is your favorite color?”

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Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema: Paranormal Activity (2006)

Looking for some weekend fun in Boston?

Check out Jimmy Dunn this Saturday at Mottley’s Comedy Club!

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Looking for some weekend fun in Boston?

Boston honors the life of Kevin Knox

On Sunday, November 29, Boston will celebrate the life of local comedy legend Kevin Knox in a special memorial at the Collins Center for the Performing Arts in Andover. Knox passed away earlier this month at…

Click to read full article…

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Boston honors the life of Kevin Knox

Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema: Zombie Death House (1987)

I’m excited to say that last week I was reunited not only with my back-from-the-dead computer, but more importantly, with my Netflix online account.  I must confess, in the weeks in which I was separated from my dear friend, FearNet left me profoundly disappointed in its lackluster post-Halloween programming lineup.  There’s only so much Sleepaway Camp I can take.

Perusing the selection of deliciously-sketchy B-movies and cheese-laden zombie flicks, I decided to settle in for a Sketch Cinema masterpiece which is lovingly brought to us by none other than Lt. Donald Thompson himself, John Saxon.  From nightmares to zombies, I present to you Saxon’s 1987 unintentional zom-com, Zombie Death House.

Derek Keillor’s having a rough time.  He’s trying to break free from his boss, mob kingpin Vic Moretti, after being Moretti’s driver for some time.  This is tough to do, particularly as he’s conveniently servicing his boss’s girlfriend in his off-time.  Moretti solves one problem for Keillor by killing said girlfriend, though he manages to frame Keillor for the murder, sending him off to prison.

We soon learn that at said prison, Colonel Burgess (Saxon), a bio-weapons engineer, is testing out the latest in chemical warfare and is using death row inmates as his test subjects.  Everything goes swimmingly to plan until the attempted execution of a recently infected inmate – an opportunity which presents the convict with the opportunity to demonstrate his super-human, zombie-like prowess – and all hell proceeds to break loose.

A lesser director would have simply settled for a prison-based zombie apocalypse, but not our pal John Saxon – and this is why we love him.  Keillor has managed to spring most of the inmates from their cells, while the government has quarantined the entire prison, leaving guards, staff, the warden (and his wife and children), and a local hot-blonde-scientist-turned-TV-reporter all trapped within the prison grounds.

Keillor clearly sees the opportunity laid out for him, and he and his fellow inmates begin to take hostages and make demands – particularly in order to get Moretti to the prison, where his homosexual brother has been taken hostage as well.  Moretti happily obliges, eagerly awaiting the chance to point and laugh at Keillor, unaware of the quarantine on the building.  How will Moretti react once he realizes he’s trapped?

Zombie Death House is a gore-filled, laugh-a-minute mash up of cheesy-action-drama and take-it-for-what-it’s-worth violence, reminiscent of an undead version of Miami Vice. Obviously Saxon is taking his cues from his Napoli violenta days as the movie desperately tries so hard to be much bigger than it is.  Lucio Fulci you are not, Mr. Saxon, but I, for one, appreciate the effort.

And now, my little sketchy friends, I leave you with this week’s Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema quote of the week:

“Got no bananas here monkey ass. Keep walking.” (Death Row Inmate)

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Sunday Morning Sketch Cinema: Zombie Death House (1987)

Gust

He’s been coming around here for awhile now, almost so often that should a day pass during which his towering frame happens to not cross my threshold, I’m left, in a way, out of sorts. He’s not mine, or at least, not yet – but that’s no way to think about things like that.

The natural pout of his lips has a tendency to infiltrate significantly more pressing thought processes, knocking the mind off-course with fanciful gale-force winds and a sly smile that speaks of nothing in particular but conveys everything, altogether.

I brace for the impact, while concurrently dangling bare feet from open doorways, manipulating his current in delicate ways before falling turns to landing.

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Gust

In an interview with Newsmax, Sarah Palin floated Fox News host Glenn Beck’s name as her running mate for 2012. Palin said, “But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He’s a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way.” Apparently, Palin’s qualifications for a running mate include that they be a “hoot.”

Palin chuckled when asked about the possibility of a Palin/Beck ticket and said, “I can envision a couple of different combinations, if ever I were to be in a position to really even seriously consider running for anything in the future, and I’m not there yet. But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He’s a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he’s so bold – I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he’s very, very, very effective.”

Could this be the reason the Aztecs foresaw the end of the world in 2012? Angie wants to know your opinion…

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Pickin’ Brains: Inside the Head of James Johann

They don’t call him the Rural Genius for nothing.

Behind his warm, boyish smile and polite Midwestern charm lies a comedic mastermind who is more than well-poised to redefine the concept of ‘southern-style’ comedy.

A nineteen-year veteran of the comedy world, James Johann began his career in 1991 performing stand-up in Kansas City.  His sometimes intimately-personal and usually self-deprecating brand of humor gave him a niche in an industry which, at the time, found itself struggling to capture audiences in a market flooded with what some considered to be mediocre comics.

“That’s my fault,” Johann jests.  “When I started, political comedians weren’t as rampant as they have become these days.  I think now with guys like Bill Mahr and Jon Stewart and others it’s more fashionable to put your political views out there.”

But political wasn’t always so fashionable, particularly in the early 1990’s.

“Everyone was doing Crocodile Hunter, talking about fast food and twisting up balloon poodles or whatever. So, I just kind of stayed away from it from the beginning.”

Sticking to the comedy basics was certainly a recipe for success for Johann, who eventually found himself a cozy little spot performing with Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy in their national blue-collar comedy tours.  In 2003, Johann was featured on the Paying for the New Trailer tour along with Foxworthy as well and went on to be a key part of The Slackers Tour, a national tour from one of the producers of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour, from 2005 to 2007.

I asked Johann if he finds himself pigeon-holed by his blue-collar brand of humor.

“That style of comedy is very polarized. You either really like that style or you really don’t. There’s not a lot of middle ground. The hard part is that people who don’t like ‘redneck’ or ‘southern’ style humor also tend to look down on it. Its comedy for the unwashed masses and anyone who deems themselves intellectually superior to it takes a very dim view of it. It almost induces a sickening feeling in certain comedians. And that’s fine. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is room for all of us, from the bright and shiny antics of Carrot-Top to the arcane references of Dennis Miller’s rants. I just think funny comes in many different packages. Someone may not be your cup of tea, and that’s fine.”

Johann’s success with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour eventually led to the incarnation of his “Rural Genius” persona, a concept which he’d long been formulating well before working the ‘redneck’ route.  Fortunately for Johann, he didn’t have to look far for inspiration.

“I always thought it would be funny to have some redneck know-it-all telling his point of view no matter how asinine it was. I have family like that and I think I’ve nailed the premise pretty well so far, but it’s still developing. I sent this idea with a list of other ideas that I thought made me stand out a little and that is the one the management latched on to. At first I was really uncomfortable with it because I didn’t know if it was supposed to be a “character” or what and I struggled with how to present it. But more and more, I’m seeing that it’s just – me. I’m a guy from a small Midwest town and I think I’m smarter than I am sometimes. So really it has the potential to be a stupid or as sophisticated as I want it to be and I like that flexibility. I can make a Descartes reference and do a fart joke in the same breath and its not really breaking any rules of the persona. Plus, it’s something that people do remember, which is really the whole point.”

Johann has always had a natural inclination towards comedy, as he recounts his earliest attempts to win over a crowd.

“In kindergarten I dressed as a clown for the talent show,” Johann recalls. “I pulled a red wagon full of props onto the stage. I took out a rubber duck and threw it at the crowd as I yelled ‘DUCK!’ So, I’m guessing the desire has been there since I was that young. Yes, I think I always wanted to be a comedian. They seemed like the best kind of people.”

And the best kind of people they often are.  In June 2009, James Johann, along with eight other nationally-known comedians, brought their humor and heart to Boston, MA for the first-ever Comics Against Cancer show, a comedy benefit to raise funds and awareness for the American Cancer Society’s signature event, Relay For Life.  Johann and his cohorts not only performed pro-bono for the Boston crowd, but also gathered at the AstraZeneca Hope Lodge Center in Boston to prepare and serve an Italian-style dinner for the Lodge’s guests, cancer patients who are currently undergoing treatment in the city along with their caregivers.  It was an event that was particularly close to Johann’s heart.

“My mother died of cancer in the early 90’s and even though I have done benefits for all kinds of things, the fight against cancer is a personal one for me. It’s a dreadful disease and anything I can do to help eradicate it is worth the time,” explains Johann.  “Being invited back to Boston, where I lived for 3 years, was a treat in itself. I love that city and the whole East Coast vibe. Even if they do drive like (M)assholes. I miss living there and I’d come back anytime.”

Johann’s focus is not always on the lighter side of life, however.  When he’s not eliciting mass amounts of belly-laughs from his audiences he can often be found doing the other thing he loves to do – writing.  Citing such influences as Cervantes, Salinger, Kerouac, Johann happily provides a glimpse into his literary side.

“I was recently delighted to hear one of my favorite modern writers, Christopher Hitchens, make a comment about my all time literal hero, Vladimir Nabokov. Hitchens was asked why he hadn’t done a work about Nabokov, as he too is a huge admirer and Hitchen’s replied that he “just wasn’t ready yet”. And this is coming from someone who is immensely talented himself and yet still admits that he is probably not up to the task of doing justice to a writer like Nabokov. Nabokov’s work is astoundingly beautiful and tricky. And there’s a gem in nearly every line. This is made doubly impressive by the fact that he’s not even writing in his native Russian tongue. I could go on and on about him.”

But where would he find the time to? Johann is not only currently hard at work putting the finishing touches on his new comedy album – one that will feature both standup as well another passion of James’ – music.

“I’m hoping to collaborate with a couple of people, including a fantastic singer/songwriter named Kristie Stremel (www.KristieStremel.com) who can hopefully add some really cool music to my goofy lyrics, which can’t help but be a good combination.”

Johann also has a book in the works, tentatively titled, “The Sweltering Misadventures of a Mediocre Liar”, which promises to show readers the not-so-rural side of Johann.

“Hopefully, the book will have very little to do with ‘Rural Genius’. That’s a shadow I’m still getting used to walking with. But ideally it will be something along the lines of Woody Allen’s ‘Without Feathers’ which is an incredibly funny book. I can only hope to come close to that. As far as when, I really couldn’t say. My muse is fickle.”

And just what advice would James Johann offer to aspiring comics hoping to follow in his footsteps?

“A couple lines from Bob Dylan may apply here: ‘If you don’t think there’s a price for this sweet Paradise, just remind me to show you the scars.’  ‘Sacrifice is the code of the road.’ But perhaps AC/DC put it best: ‘It’s a long way to the top if you wanna Rock N Roll.’

But I would give the same advice that I was given by Kansas City comic David Naster who signed my first-ever official autograph and who is a great comic in his own right. On a bar napkin he wrote the most sage advice you can get: Go be funny. Thanks David! And thank you Angela!!”

You can catch James Johann performing live at Crackers in Indianapolis from December 9–12, or at the Looney Bin in Little Rock, Arkansas from November 25-29.

James Johann on the Late Show with Craig Ferguson 1/25/08

Also check out http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/314624/rural-genius-steroids.jhtml?id=1600624 for the latest Rural Genius clip!

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Pickin’ Brains: Inside the Head of James Johann