Happy (Next) Birthday to Me (or, Why I’m Looking Forward to the NOES remake)

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Happy (Next) Birthday to Me (or, Why I’m Looking Forward to the NOES remake)

Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy KruegerOkay, so it may not be coming out on April 16, 2010 as originally planned, but Michael Bay’s 21st-century remake of the classic franchise-maker, A Nightmare on Elm Street, will only be delayed by two weeks, still allowing the film to be one big, fat, sloppy-wet-kiss of a birthday present for yours truly when it hits theaters on 4/30/10.

I know, I know.

Michael Bay getting his grubby little paws all over what is unquestionably my all-time favorite horror concept ever to grace the silver screen.  It would be rather naïve of me to not be a bit nervous about this, just as it would be to not have some apprehension over the choice of music-video director Samuel Bayer to direct the remake.

But I do trust New Line Cinema when it comes to all things Krueger.  I even – gulp – trust them enough to put my faith in the great decision to not cast Robert Englund as Freddy, for the first time since the series’ inception.

Now, before I am strung up and labeled a horror traitor, I assure you that Englund’s Krueger can and will never be topped in terms of fright-factor and (as we have come to appreciate later in the films) humor.  Who can forget some of the classic quips and perfectly-timed one-liners that have come to signal yet another character’s impending and bloody death?

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors Jennifer (Penelope Sudrow) falls asleep while watching the Dick Cavett Show. The TV goes fuzzy and as she tried to change the channel it grows arms and Freddy’s head busts out picking her up and smashing her head through the screen while delivering the line: “Welcome to Primetime Bitch!”

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare Freddy flying by a window on a broom clad in full costume spouting Wicked Witch dialogue.  Freddy don’t want your dog. He just wants your soul.

But here’s the thing: is Freddy (as we’ve known him) still scary?  Would moviegoers and horror fans truly be able to take Robert Englund as seriously as we did back in 1984?

I think not, and therefore, am fully behind giving Jackie Earle Haley an honest chance at scaring the poop out of me in my dreams.  The dude is no rookie to the horror genre (and no, I am not counting his roles in The Bad News Bears franchise), having played a role in Maniac Cop III: Badge of Silence and other lesser-known films, but is he Krueger material?

New-Freddy-picBased on this first-available image of Haley as our beloved Freddy, I think he just might be.

Being dead wasn’t a problem, but being forgotten, now that’s a BITCH. I can’t come back if nobody remembers me. I can’t come back if nobody’s afraid. I had to search the bowels of Hell, but I found someone, someone who’ll make ‘em remember. He may get the blood, but I’ll get the glory, and that fear is my ticket home.” – Freddy Krueger, Freddy Vs Jason

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Happy (Next) Birthday to Me (or, Why I’m Looking Forward to the NOES remake), 10.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating
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Happy (Next) Birthday to Me (or, Why I’m Looking Forward to the NOES remake)

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Posted by Angie   @   11 September 2009

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